Everyone has known someone who apologizes incessantly. “I’m sorry about this, I’m sorry about that, I’m sorry for everything, even if I had nothing to do with it.”
These people have eaten one too many slices of humble pie. And if you confront them with how irritating their constant apologizing is, what do they instantly do? Apologize, of course.
Don’t be one of these people, and if you have been, for goodness sake, don’t apologize for it.
Too much humble pie (aka: rock bottom self-esteem) is a strange and interesting thing. To think that things are not going well in your life because you are a worthless piece of crap will not help you to accept responsibility for yourself. Quite the opposite: hiding behind self-blame, and drowning in the resulting shame is one of the most efficient – not to mention prevalent – ways to avoid personal responsibility. This is the self-absorbed state of “Negative Arrogance.”
I once heard this state of mind described as a belief that says, “I am the piece of crap that the world revolves around.” When I first heard that, it sounded waaaaay too familiar to me; that was the day I made a commitment to stop living my life as a victim. And I work to live up to that commitment one day at a time.
In a Nutshell
Victimization is a self-fulfilling prophecy, and self-condemnation has nothing to do with being a responsible person